1.7.08

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

1.6.08

i try to be involved i try to feel connected

the confession
id rather not be of flesh as i would prefer to be a cold stone

The Confessor

1.5.09

Happy Whatever.....

My G turns @ in a few days and I already know that I wont be able to talk to him.
Why does she have to be one of these bitches that just because we are not together I cant have contact with my kid???

I hope her new husband to be beats the shit out of her, so she can actually know what spouse abuse is.

I really have nothing left but disgust for her.


The Confessor

12.30.08

so i told her friend whilst signed in as her that she was cheating on me her friend went for it saying dude hes soooooooooo cute does he have any friends then her friend commenced to tell her this morning how jealous she was.

she told her friend it was me.

am i wrong for thinking that a friend that is mutual friendly is a low down scummy bitch for not telling me first and for most??

i am not a cblocker but you dont allow your friends to get hurt you tell them and you dont support the guilty party..

the confession

Validated Again

the confessor

12.29.08

i wished today that she would die
i wished today for blood
i wished today that someone will send him to me
i wished today for harmony
for financial balance and sanity
i wished today i had no tomorrow
i wished today for no more sorrow
i wished like hell for no more pain
i wished there was a pill to take
i wish i could swallow you down
i wish that this was not my fate
intermittent turmoil
frivilous punctuations
foreign matters and independent wealth
none of this pertains to myself
i am the diseased the leppur
i am the used the trash to be tossed aside
i am fighting for breathe and cant wait to lose
i am falling to pieces broken and bruised
i wished like hell that shed take it all
i wished like hell i would fall
i wished today away
i wished my life would fade away


the confession
inward thoughts murder the men without the resolve to push forward, to strive. when you have lost all pride as i have and the support you beg for disappears all you have left is your inner fears, and you are alone with them. alone all the time with the demons of your life and the secrets they hold inside, now there comes a choice amd i know i must decide and i am selfish but i continue to lean towards suicide..
the confessor

12.26.08

Curmudgeon

Christmas Day 10 AM

Shes at my parents house.

I call.

Guerrila Warfare style.

Pops hands her the phone.

Put my kid on I say.

I got to at least tell him I Love Him.

I can hear the anger in her voice but I give no shits.

That is One for me!

The indifference currently residing inside of me is uplifting and heartbreaking at the same time.

I have to keep saying stay the course but what is my course. I am so unaware of how Kelly is feeling and how that effects me is of no concern to her.

The Confession

She Knows about this now

12.24.08

merry christmas i want to die

the c