this is an honest open and may be sick twisted perverted, disgusting, sad , happy, abusive, hateful, spiteful, mind blowing, or stagnant.

It is me. It is the goo on the finger that just came out of a festering wound.

I invite all to comment and share.

Fuck your friends fuck your neighbors but alway make love to the one you love.

This is my forum and it is open to the world.


12.15.08 Confession

Today is a new day full of new trials and reasons to deliberate. Fondling thoughts of anxiety and vague memories of a laughable moment.I am slowly drowning in my lack of motivation to plow her with her own mash of slights. I offer one and HATED without right.How dare she get mad when I say one thing and plans change. How can she tell me plans change to much for her? How can she say these things when her plans change? I am not supposed to care.I am only a man. I have never felt love this way. I dont know how to react. Popular concensus says though that a live in couple is a marriage without legality and when you choose to be involved you choose to bend and break. I am broken I have no bend left. So plans have to change.

Indefinitely I will respond in the method I have used for so long.Underminding the fact that this is going entirely against everything I know and have recently learned. I am determined to find the match . I am in need of a partner who is willing to play an unbeatable game with me. Because that is what life is, unbeatable. The thing that happens interestingly enough is that you can achieve a tied score, with the proper assistance. I am engrossed in trying to commit to the right conclusion in a decisive manner but am un clear as to what the finale will bring. I am petrified by the fact that as I sit and type this I am alone. I am terrified that when she stumbles upon this Ill become unknown. Thankfully though upon my departure I will be missed and heart will fill with sorrow. Pain will devour and hurt is enduring. Everlasting is the void that is neither refillable or healable that comes from losing the person who beyond all other things is loyal to the death for you.Losing the person that will stick it out thru all of your manipulations, transgressions and cowardness, the dishonesty.The backwards actions that you claim to have no regard for but you have so chosen to emulate those actions.These will be the lasting memory of your unwritten life. Ongoing and unshakeable and they will choke you slowly.The painful memory of how you examined me and the way you went about disecting me while I was still alive. It will caress your throat within a gentle grasp slowly surrounding and encapsulating whilst growing ever firmer. Then when you feel as though you can no longer breath, the pain will begin to grow and then as you lay down to sleep in the eternal darkness your heart will remain beating and continue to pump ice into your soul.

With each passing day I grow more fond of the expositions of my internal soul.I am relieved and in awe of the open nature of this freedom giving device that is truly a new age Confessional.

The Confessor.

Supplemental 12.15.08

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years,

 no matter what it does.                - Will Rogers


Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.                           -Albert Einstein


"It is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn't."  -Martin Van Buren


"My failures have been errors of judgment, not of intent." Ulysses S. Grant


"The only man who makes no mistake is the man who does nothing."

-         Teddy Roosevelt


When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go.

-Carol Burnett

Success is meaningless if you can't sleep at night because of harsh things said, petty secrets sharpened against hard and stony regret, just waiting to be plunged into the soft underbelly of a 'friendship.'

Margaret Cho,

The only factor becoming scarce in a world of abundance is human attention.

Kevin Kelly,


Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it "the first law of personal growth."

Peter McWilliams,


I shall despair. There is no creature loves me;
And if I die no soul will pity me:
And wherefore should they, since that I myself
Find in myself no pity to myself?

William Shakespeare

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.




Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.
 David Letterman

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
 Abraham Lincoln