this is an honest open and may be sick twisted perverted, disgusting, sad , happy, abusive, hateful, spiteful, mind blowing, or stagnant.

It is me. It is the goo on the finger that just came out of a festering wound.

I invite all to comment and share.

Fuck your friends fuck your neighbors but alway make love to the one you love.

This is my forum and it is open to the world.



i am sitting alone in my apartment. not entirely true the cat is present. i called my father today and i confessed to him that my girl is taking care of me and she is. i have a horrible job and pay more than 50 percent child support for one child. i dont know an address to mail him a letter but the state takes my money. i often cry when i am alone and no one knows this i cant control myself i try so hard to be sstrong but my exwife and current girlfriend have raped my heart and i am unsure just why i am deserving to even breathe. i regret ever compression of my chest. i have never wanted anything less than an idea family and i dont think i will ever have that im just a bad guy i guess. id love to one day by a rocket and fly it to the moon but it will never happen so i guess its time to stop reaching for the stars. i put an add up on craigslist for her and i know she reads them but she never emailed me on it i dont guess im doing a bad job hiding it. i love her more than i think i should and i want to make her my wife that should be my first clue......

so this is going to be my place to breathe and i will get it out and maybe it will lift all the way off my chest im tired of living two lifes one inside that is a broken tangled mess of a man and one thats outward and nothing more than a false shell of a broken crushed lost man.......